Saturday, May 28, 2011

Iris - Boyce Avenue

video

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

Chorus
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

Chorus
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Chorus
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Simply Your Silhoutte

video
Faizal tahir: Mahakarya Cinta


I have never taken drugs,
Nor do I ever want liquor,
But not your reflection,
Nor your shadow,
Simply your silhouette,
Would make me inebriated.

I miss you



video
Lady Antebellum: Need You Now


Friday, May 20, 2011

I Could and I Would

I Could and I Would,
You Couldn't but You Would,

That would put me in jeopardy,
You would let IT be jeopardise,
By your actions of wouldn't
So

I Was fat, Ugly, Pimply, Depress, Poor. My Truth

How would you feel if you are fat and people keep on calling u "fatty/ugly/gemuk"?
I was fat from my kindergarden years till primary 1. Kids were cruel then, called me names because I was fat. I was disturbed to the point that I refuse to even eat anything. My mom had to even scold and forced me to eat. But I became thin after that, however it was never a pleasant experience being an aneroxic.

How would you feel if your father left you when you were 4, yet everyone around you had both parents around always? How would you feel when people ask you "How come I never see your dad?". I used to answer "he's buzy at the office, seldom comes back home". As a young boy, coming from a background with divorced parents, it felt embarrassing, felt inadequate, felt left out but I was blessed to have such a great mother.

How would you feel growing up with so little compared to your friends? How would you feel to barely have any new toys, perhaps only once a year getting a new toy, but your friends around you could simply get a new bicycle? How would you feel, as a young boy to live in a house the size is only of a small fraction of your friend's house? I now feel very blessed that I'm living in a house that's much better than the many I know.

How would you feel if your face is full of huge, ugly pimples? Pimples so severe that if it burst, the puss and blood would simply flows down your cheek. Scars so bad that you hate to look into the mirror. I had terrible acne from form 1 to form 4. It affected my confidence so much that I could only look into the mirror if I was the only one in the room. I remembered whenever I was with my friends and they were admiring their own looks in the toilet mirror, I had to either look away or waited outside because it was just unbearable to see the difference in complexion between my friends and mine. I got blame by many that I didn't even take care of my skin but I was actually using proven effective and expensive skincare.

How would you feel if your dream is to be able to study the course you have aspired to take since you were young, but failed to do so simply because you got 1B in your SPM? How would you feel if you scored almost a straight A1's but only in Bahasa Melayu you scored a B, and not allowed to get any scholarships to study the course you have always dreamt of? How would you feel if you have been the head prefect, the president of 3 clubs, represented the school in various curricular activities, top student, but were turned down by various scholarship bodies simply because of this reason "You won't be a good ambassador to Malaysia because you got a B in your BM"? I was depress, to the point that I wish I had never lived.

Growing up, being a fat kid, being an ugly pimply kid, being a poor kid, being the kid with only 1 parent around and being the kid who works so hard yet rejected at every corner he went, wasn't easy. However, live doesn't stop there. You might have wished to die at some point of your life. I did.

God is fair to all. Reflect and find the hikmah out of every predicament we went through.

Alhamdulillah I was fat, ugly, poor, rejected, depressed. All that made me understand better the feelings of others who suffers from the same predicaments. It simply shaped me for who I am today

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Mariah Carey

video

No, I can't forget this evening,
Or your face as you were leaving,
But I guess that's just the way the story goes,
You always smile, but in your eyes your sorrow shows,
Yes, it shows,

No, I can't forget tomorrow,
When I think of all my sorrow,
When I had you there,
But then I let you go,
And now it's only fair that I should let you know,
What you should know,

I can't live,
If living is without you,
I can't live,
I can't give anymore,
I can't live,
If living is without you,
I can't give,
I can't give anymore,

Well, I can't forget this evening,
Or your face as you were leaving,
But I guess that's just the way the story goes,
You always smile, but in your eyes your sorrow shows,
Yes, it shows,

I can't live,
If living is without you,
I can't live,
I can't give anymore,
I can't live,
If living is without you,
I can't live,
I can't give anymore,

No, I can't live,
No, I can't live,

I,
No, no, no, no, I,
I can't live (no, I can't live),
If living is without you (no, I can't live),
I can't live,
I can't give anymore,
Can't live (no, I can't live),
No, I can't live.


A great song by Mariah

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Christina Perri: Jar of Hearts

video


I know I can't take one more step towards you

'Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
You lost the love I loved the most

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Januari

video

Berat bebanku
Meninggalkanmu
Separuh nafas jiwaku.... sinar

Bukan salahmu
Apa dayaku
Mungkin cinta sejati tak berpihak.. pada kita

Kasihku...
Sampai disini kisah kita
Jangan tangisi keadaannya
Bukan karena kita berbeda

Dengarkan...
Dengarkan lagu... lagu ini
Melodi rintihan hati ini
Kisah kita
Berakhir di januari

Selamat tinggal
Kisah sejatiku
Oohhhh pergilah

Kasihku...
Sampai disini kisah kita
Jangan tangisi keadaannya
Bukan karena kita berbeda

Dengarkan...
Dengarkan lagu... lagu ini
Melodi rintihan hati ini
Kisah kita
Berakhir di januari

Wooooo..oh...wooo..ohhh

Dengarkan lagu... lagu ini
Melodi rintihan hati ini
Kisah kita
Berakhir di januari



I have always enjoyed singing this song.
Never knew it would mean so much to me now.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Untold Truth

Do you know how it feel when he is just there, but you can't reach him?
He was the one who is suppose to support and love you, but you got almost none
He is the one to say "don't worry, if I'm around, no one can hurt you", but you got hurt, merely by his absence
He is the one to praise you but you mostly get criticism

Do you know how it feels when you get injustice treatment by him?
For lying to you
For not fully loving you
For hoping to gain something from the kindness you gave

All along I was not returned the love I deserve
Merely words
Emotionless for what you did

You never had to go through what I suffered
You are just happy and gay there but I was not
I had you always in my mind but yours was filled with them, only

Why make me when you don't want me?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A Song From The Heart

Here's a good song

video

How I

I just want to see your face
I just want to hear your voice
I just want to caress your skin
I just want to hold your hand
I just want to kiss your lips
I just want to feel your warmth
I just want to breath your scent
I just want you

How we met in black
How we sat under the red
How we kissed in silver
How we hugged in white
How we touched on green

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Except But Thee

Writing in the stars above
The constellation is my love
I have always thought
Everlasting there it is now not
I once believed
That I want to live
Only if you're by me
Just you, not anybody
But the rain poured
And so I soared
Further from my shadow
Deep into the hollow
Alone but many
Except but thee